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On the week of July 2nd we embarked on a n outdoor adventure that entailed solo excursions for each of us. The first day was a crash course in basic survival skills like fire making, knot tying and shelter making. The first night our group decided to put our shelter building skills into action and we built a three person shelter from the surrounding environment. It was such a rewarding experience and I was able to put some of my engineering skills into place. We spent the rest of the night playing cards in our ‘shack’ and having some meaningful conversations under the star filled night sky. It created a real sense of comradery.
The next day I began my trek out to my area where I would spend the next 24 hours on my solo. I spent the next few hours hiking around the area then building a shelter and making myself comfortable. I found myself getting into a mindset of hyper awareness then turning into a sense of racing thoughts. Which is something I have struggled with throughout my life and has led to a lot of my stress. I sat there for a while trying to answer some of the guided questions from the therapist, but I wasn’t able to really put anything complete and worthwhile together. I was recognizing that when my mind/thoughts race like this and I get that blanket of stress over me was when I would use substances. Coming to that awareness really helped me understand the importance of finding a way to deal with it sober.
Recently I started meditating with one of the night staff and he was teaching me some techniques that seemed to be helping with my awareness and control of thoughts. So I decided to put some of these techniques into practice out on my solo while I was feeling that sense of a racing mind. I spent the next few hours learning to bring my thoughts back to a calm state and recognizing when my thoughts would stray. Beginning to have a sense of control over that feeling and seeing how my mind begins to stray, eventually leading to racing thoughts and stress, felt like a huge breakthrough and honestly a sense of relief.
I truly felt like real progress was being made and I had finally begun to get a handle on something I have struggled with my whole life which has been a big reason for my use of substances. For that, I am extremely grateful and will continue to practice the sill that has given me a sense of inner peace within myself.
– Austin