This last weekend we went to White Mountain National Forest in Arizona, I was Trip Leader for this trip; I was concerned but it would end up being a difficult trip for me. The first day of the trip we all went on a short hike after learning about how to be as safe as possible around lightning. As soon as the hike started, thunder rolled in and we all had to run into the woods to get out of the open ground. The guides decided it would be a good chance to Journal but as soon as we started journaling, it started to pour rain and start hailing so bad that it hurt. It was extremely but ended up being fun because it was so intense. It would end up raining for almost the entire trip.
That night when we cooked dinner I was feeling stressed out by being around all the guys for so long. I decided to read my book and tried to do it in the van to avoid the rain even though we are not allowed to on trips. I felt like I couldn’t be around the guys anymore so I kept reading while dinner was being made. Later I heard people making comments about it so I knew it bothered people that I was isolating myself when I was trip leader.
The next day we tried to leave for an early hike both the rain made it so we couldn’t by the time dinner came around there had been a lot of complaining about the rain and everything else which made me resent some of the guys and when I got the chance I decided to read alone again. I helped clean up and do all the work but I knew it wasn’t ideal. I felt like I needed time alone but I also knew I was probably expected to be around 100% at the time.
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Explore What We Can Do →When we got back we had our community meeting and a lot of people said that they were disappointed that I was reading so much because I was trip leader. I was expected to be much more present throughout the trip. I didn’t so at first but the criticism had a large impact on me because it is so hard for me to feel judged and avoid getting defensive. The only difficult thing for me to cope with was the stress of feeling attacked and judged. The next chance I get as Trip Leader, I will try to be better.
Client Journal by Oliver L
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