Calling Myself an Addict
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Explore What We Can Do →As of right now I currently have one full day left as a resident of B2B outdoor adventures. It has been quite the journey and it’s difficult to look back on all the growth and change until you’re pretty much done. The change for me was slow and gradual but it is extremely interesting to hear from staff how I was when I entered Back 2 Basics six months ago. When I got here I came from three months in a wilderness program I thought I had been through enough and that I had it all figured out. I could speak about what I knew and what I thought I was practicing in my life and make it sound pretty good. I thought I had reached the necessary point of being recovered as opposed to in recovery. Reliance on self knowledge made me also have a strong tendency to be a master justifier and most of all extremely self righteous. It took me quite some time to realize that a drug addict and an alcoholic doesn’t necessarily become recovered but are always in the recovery process. It is a process that requires constant attention, work, and mindfulness. There will never be a point at which you are done or cured. This was a difficult thing for me at first as one of my main concerns with my family was that I didn’t want to be viewed or treated as an addict for the rest of my life. I was afraid that no matter what I did to stop using and no matter how hard I tried to do right by them that I would be treated with coldness and skepticism.
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Get in Touch →However in B2B I soon had to declare myself an alcoholic or addict everyday. Soon I realized what it meant to call myself that. It is a declaration and reminder of who I am and how it shaped my life in the past. Through knowing that I could show myself and the world how far I have come and how much work I put it with the 12 steps.