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| Wrapping up two weeks of Spanish classes, morning surf, community service projects, great eats, and, of course, anonymous fellowship! |
By Kevin C.
So the past few days have been a little weird for me. I have been in a weird mood or head space. I have put a lot of thought into what I want to do with my life. I guess you could say I have done a little too much future “tripping.” I have thought a lot about the relationship with my family, and what I can do to make up for the wrong I have caused them. I’m about to write two amend letters, one to my mom and dad, which have me really caught up. My sponsor wants me to be specific in the things I need to apologize for, but the list is so extensive I almost want to start with the big things and work my way down. I’m glad I am going to get the opportunity to do more therapy with each of them in the coming weeks. I think after that I should be in a better head space. I’ve been tripping on what to do after Back2Basics also. So many opportunities, so many thoughts. It’s a decision that is mine to make. Of course there are many people that will be giving me advice throughout the process but essentially it comes down to what I would like to do. I want to stay sober, so even if I don’t do transition I want to set myself up with a solid support system that’s involved with the AA community. Live with someone who is affiliated with Back2Basics and possibly work for Back2Basics. These are all conversations I need to have. My knee and shoulder situations have bothered me too. I have had the “why me” thoughts again. But I do know that my higher power has something great in store for me and this is just part of the process. I think that the part I didn’t look at before is that when I was using and drinking I did no physical activity whatsoever, and now I’m doing more of that then I have since high school. So my body isn’t used to it and is weak overall; I’m more susceptible to injury. I guess I’m coming to grips with it. I’m kind of bummed we haven’t been able to get out and practice our Spanish. I mean we do get to practice while at lunch or around Edgar but we would for sure to more out of it if we had more time out and about. The not being able to hang out with Shirley’s students has brought up some questions on my part. I know other groups have had that opportunity I tend to wonder what this group may have done to get those privilege revoked. I think this may be another one of those higher power signs telling me just to accept the things I cannot change. So all in all I am very grateful for this process and for Back2Basics providing me with this experience in sobriety.