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Diaries of a B2B Clients: Relapse Lessons

Table of Contents

young men backpacks above grand canyon

Here is a raw and honest look into the sober journey of our clients. We have chosen to honor and respect their anonymity throughout this learning process. We thank them for being willing to share the highs and lows of working this 12-step, adventurous program known as Back2Basics. Let their stories take you away…

 

Relapse Lessons

 

Before I was done with my first month at Back to Basics a couple of the clients living at the house relapsed on a substance referred to as “spice.” After this happened I realized how seriously I needed to take my sobriety. The clients all had repercussions for their faults in the program; they were each going to go on a solo, which means they were going to be sent out in the wilderness with nothing but the bare essentials needed to survive. The clients learned their lesson on relapsing. It turned out to be a good thing they did it while still in a program because if they weren’t the possibility of them continuing to use would have been very high. After these individuals came back from their solos we sat down and discussed about how we were going to have more clientts coming into the house so [B2B staff] would need someone to move into Litzler, which is basically a halfway house to the Hunter House. Mike chose me for a specific reason; I had been in the house the longest without relapsing. That day I ended up moving all my belongings from the Hunter House down to Liztler. My roommate was a transitional staff member, who had graduated from the program about four months before I had arrived at B2B. I was a little worried at first when I moved down because I didn’t know him that well, but he was a cool roommate. He said a lot of useful stuff that I will be able to use in my sobriety. However, he was moving out soon and the room became my own. I have been doing very well ever since. It makes me laugh about being nervous or having anxiety because now I realize that it was very helpful just to get over that anxiety and move on with my life. This has been an occurring problem of mine. I have anxiety over very little things and when I realize that I have anxiety over it, it makes me mad and upset because I realize how stupid I’m being within myself. My sponsor has been really helpful to me for my sobriety. He always tells me that it’s never just me out there. He made this very clear when I was doing my first step — that it’s not just me. We have our higher power to help when we are out of the program. I couldn’t exactly have my higher power help me with moving down to Litzler because that’s just something that I have to learn and overcome within myself. There will always going be more obstacles like this one to get through in my life.

— B2B client

Rangers in the Canyon

I’m going to a campfire speaker gathering in which people from all around the world will be listening to a ranger that works at the Grand Canyon. The title of the ranger program is called Ranger Stories. The speaker is going to talk about how and what rangers do throughout their days on the job. The rim of the Grand Canyon is where lightning strikes the most in Arizona. You should be drinking at least one gallon of water when you are hiking as well as eating salty foods. A dangerous animal is the rock squirrel which bites and carries diseases. Five million people come to the Grand Canyon to see its spectacular views. The Grand Canyon became a national park in the year 1919. Spanish conquistadors found the Grand Canyon in 1514 trying to look for gold, but gave up trying to go around the 10 mile Canyon. This is just a few interesting facts the ranger explained. She also explained about a very rare rattle snake that’s pink in color and only lives in the canyon. The story behind how she discovered the snake was more interesting to me. The Ranger was hiking a trail and stumbled upon a snake, but the weird thing was its color was different from any other snake she had seen before. The ranger didn’t have any type of trap so she ended up carrying the snake up a three mile hike also realizing there would also be a five mile car ride to the station. Her solution was to hold the snake out of the window for the entire trip. This was the first pink rattle snake every discovered in the Canyon. Rangers are a very important part in maintaining the park and keep the visitors safe.

— B2B client

 

Overcoming Fears

Today I had a very positive experience, both mentally and physically. The guys in the house and I went to a kayaking class. At first I was petrified about the entire thing and all that was to come with it because in my past I had very little know-how with sports involved in water. I am a very poor swimmer and my water familiarity had up to this point consisted of drinking alcohol while riding in a canoe. This was going to be very unfamiliar for me. I got an incredible amount of support from staff and the other guys in the house. My plan at first was going to be not to participate out of anxiety and fear, but instead with all of the help I received I built up the courage to do the class and it couldn’t have been a better decision. It turned out that I was a naturally skilled kayaker. When I let go of all my non-sense fears and anxiety and worked hard to become a great kayaker, I was able to accomplish it! In the past with all my drinking and drug use I didn’t accomplish much of anything except getting drunker and higher until I was sent into a dark oblivion. But there I was in rehab, sober, accomplishing things I never knew I could. The team work involved in the class was another great dynamic. All my friends in the house were so supportive and when a “t-rescue” was needed there was somebody there to carry it out. After the class I felt a sense of relief that I had faced my immense fear of water. I actually participated and succeeded in the class with flying colors. After the class I was overwhelmed with a feeling of contentment as was the rest of the house. To make it better I get to put my skills to the test in three weeks, on a 30 mile kayaking trip! Who knew that sobriety could be so fun!

— B2B client

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