Depths –
When I was in the depths of my addiction, there were times I could not fathom a way out. My life was miserable. A mind state filled with self-loathing, loneliness, fear, and anxiety was the norm. My main priority was always to find a way out and to cover up these horrible feelings. Most of the time, I was able to achieve this. When I wasn’t able to, an overwhelming feeling of despair would overtake me. Despite this, there was always a part of me that had hope and knew a better, fulfilling way of life was achievable. I was not able to attain this on my own despite multiple attempts.
Eventually, my despair grew large enough for me to ask for help. I entered rehab a very damaged person. I was riddled with extreme anxiety, feelings of inadequacy, and depression. Very slowly, through intensive therapy, self-reflection, meditation, and authentic connection with myself and others, these feelings faded. Now, they are in the process morphing into feelings of true happiness, contentment, and confidence. It is a long process and takes a great deal of commitment and difficult work. I am only in the very beginning of stages of self-work in sobriety, and I have already experienced drastic changes. I have hope that through continued commitment to self-improvement, I can live a truly fulfilling life.