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I find with friendship my life becomes easier. It’s amazing to have people around me to make me laugh and keep me accountable. I’ve recently expanded my ring of solid friendships. I’ve enjoyed having Rob and Austin as housemates and we have a lot of talks about recovery and what I need to work on. It’s nice to have people to vent to and talk about my progress in the program. I have been struggling with David a little bit, but its teaching me patience and ultimately helping strengthen relationships.
Our outdoor adventure was a 48 hour solo up Woody Mountain Road. I went out with a positive mindset knowing I would have a lot of time to reflect on past decisions, thoughts, ideals and struggles. I started with a prayer for myself and those around me, followed by a quick meditation to clear my mind. I worked on solidifying ground work in my ‘step work’ making sure that there are no cracks in the foundation.
Some missed resentments came up while I plan to share with my sponsor. I reflected on how a lot of my actions are based in selfish ideals and how I can change them. Someone pointed out that I should go back and reflect on where my selfish tendencies come from. I jumped off a cliff we were not supposed to thinking, and knowing it was safe for me. I never considered that I could potentially affect relationships by being dishonest and somewhat sneaky.
I have notice a solid change in my moral code. Where I was willing to do anything I’ve found that I can’t even litter. I physically purposely can’t do it and its amazing where as before i wouldn’t of second guessed it. I read a book called ‘I Should Of Died’. It was someone’s story of drug use, struggle and ultimately turning his life around and finding happiness. I impersonated a lot with my being a brought up some real feelings multiple times. Its a solid reminder that its never too late to make changes and better yourself.
Sitting by my personal campfire I couldn’t stop thinking about a line in the book… “there is no Christmas for junkies”. Its a sad but true story for the majority of us and the ones that do have it still don’t feel the love of the holidays.Sitting in a field of bug rocks had me thinking and I and I ended up coming up with a poem in a sense.
“The land comes from the core of the earth
angry and destructive to all,
It ends up making a change to a solid rock
and becoming one with the earth.”
I like to think that’s my life in a nutshell. I’ve always enjoyed the outdoors and find a sense of serenity and peace. Nature has an important part of my spirituality and staying connected grounds me, Its a reset to humble myself.
Client Journal from Mike