Table of Contents
Hope –
For the past five years I really had no sense of hope in my life. I was stuck in my life, I had no sense of direction and no sense of right and wrong. I was a complete mess. For the past five years I was at the mercy of my heroin usage. I had lost my families trust, lost all of my friendships and relationships with women. The only people in my life were the fellow junkies like me, who I considered to be my friends, but obviously weren’t. I was completely stuck on my own with no one I could talk to or anyone to love; and I was miserable for the past five years, I had valued heroin over everything else in my life. There were many nights were I wasn’t eating because getting high was more important to me. I was all alone in the streets, had no family and hardly any food and was at a complete loss for hope. I remember one night after years of living like that, where I called my mom crying and begging for help. At first she was hesitant to help me because in the past I had burned and had manipulated her for more money. But as time went on and I kept calling, she realized I was serious and really did want to get better. So her and my father researched programs and eventually found Back to Basics in Arizona. I knew absolutely nothing about this program and knew no one in Arizona, but for the first time in a while, had some faith and hope that I could get better. Arriving at back to basics was tough at first the thought of 6 months was a little overwhelming. However, through time I met a bunch of guys at the program, met with my therapist and got a sponsor; and things really started to change for me. For the first time in a long time I had real legitimate hope that I could improve my life and get healthy again. Today, I still hold that hope very close to me. Some days I may be down and have a tough day and lose some hope, but overall I am extremely hopeful for the future. I wouldn’t trade this feeling and this way of life for anything.