Now in my stay here at B2B I am in a much different place than before. After about a month and a half everything still fluctuates greatly. My mood, attitudes, spirituality, they all shift. Some days are great and some I can barely get myself out of bed and put a smile on my face. I appreciate everyday though, good or bad. The good days everything seems easy for me, cleaning, getting up, it is all a breeze. As I write this though I realize even the bad days really are better than my best days using. Also that on those bad days it’s the same people, same things to do, and same place to be and all that’s making the day bad is really me. I can wake up in a bad mood and still realize that this is a better day than most of the days I have had for years or I can choose to ignore that fact take the day for granted and stay in a bad mood. Other than that my time here overall is good.
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Explore What We Can Do →When I started this program I pretty much didn’t like most people here, staff, residents, anyone really. That another thing that changes constantly, staff I have gained a lot of respect for. At first I thought they were full of it and just here to get paid but as I have gotten to know them more I can see each of them have a more personal reason for being here and what they do. The residents here have also started to grow on me more, even if that doesn’t necessarily go both ways. After I learned to accept other people instead of criticize them and letting myself get annoyed by the little things I didn’t like about them I was able to see the things I could appreciate.
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Get in Touch →My spirituality is the biggest change I have had here. When I came in I didn’t think a higher would ever be part of my life. Now it is. It’s a slow progression but as I go through the phases here I really have noticed that when I pray and meditate my day becomes easier. The things that I can’t figure out in my mind are easier to find the right path. The obsession of drugs is eased. I can’t say I am all through in that area but it is progress I have never thought I would have. I still struggle with a lot of things everyday but I can handle that without running or using now. I am only at the beginning of a long process but in a way I look forward to every new hurdle because for once I believe I can get past
anything and learn from it and grow from it. Like I said even my worst day in recovery is better than my bet using. I don’t see that ever changing so hopefully neither will the progress I am making.