This week I wanted to write about something a little different. I’m gonna write about some things that I used to be like, and what I’m doing to actively change into the person I know I can be.
The biggest change I’m making is not having more than one ‘face’ that I present to the world. When I was in the service, I had one face at work, where I appeared extremely professional, an outstanding soldier, and very well respected leader. However, as soon as the uniform came off, a completely different person emerged. Similar personality traits, but applied in a much darker way. I became a very malevolent person, and when the drinking started (generally towards the end of the work day) it got much worse.
Essentially, 50% I was an outstanding person, and 50% of the time I was an absolutely horrible person. I preached honesty, integrity, self control, and generally being a good person. But I would turn around and do exactly the opposite when I was off. Looking back, it was absolutely exhausting and extremely hypocritical, but at the time it seemed like nothing was wrong.
Not sure where to start? Every recovery journey is different—we can help you find the right path.
Explore What We Can Do →So my biggest change I’ve been making so far is being a good, respectable person 100% of the time, not just when people are watching, but 100% of the time, even when I’m by myself. It has been easier than I thought, but sometimes I still catch myself slipping into old thought patterns, so its a full-time conscious effort, but I’m enjoying the results of having integrity as much as I can, honest, and everything else seems to fall in place. It truly is a great feeling.
Back2Basics has definitely helped me get to this point by forcing me to look at myself (which I hate doing) and the support of the community I have, the resources and backing, to really become this ‘Tim 3.0’ and when I stumble they’re right there to pick me up and help keep me moving forward.
Ready to take the next step in recovery?
Get in Touch →Client Journal by Tim